Insomnia During Pregnancy

Causes and Remedies
Ways to Induce Sleep During Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a time of joy, anticipation, and excitement. During pregnancy there are normal discomforts that a woman may have to experience. One condition that can develop during pregnancy is insomnia. According to the National Sleep Foundation's 1998 Women and Sleep poll, 78 percent of women report more disturbed sleep during pregnancy than at any other time.

Though insomnia is not life threatening, it can be very distressing, and exhausting. This is especially true for first time pregnancies.

There are several causes of insomnia during pregnancy. As the infant grows, added stress is placed on the woman's body, pressure on her organs can make it very difficult for the expectant mother to get comfortable. Pressure on her bladder may cause the constant feeling of having to go to the bathroom.

A warm bath and/or relaxation exercise before going to bed can help make the woman more comfortable. Maintaining a comfortable temperature for sleeping, and keeping the bedroom dark and quiet will bring better results. Sound machines, which soothe can help to keep out disturbing and irritating noises.

It could be that lower back pain as a result of the added weight is making it difficult to get to sleep. A firm mattress will help relieve your back pain. If your mattress is too soft, try placing a board under the mattress to make it firmer. Lie on your side with a pillow between your knees, or place the pillow under your knees to cut the pressure in half.

Stress is a known cause of insomnia. Pregnancy brings added stress due to many new factors; hospital bills, work scheduling, loss of funds during pregnancy leave, delivery, health of the baby, health of the mother, responsibilities of parenthood, reaction of siblings are just some of the causes for concern.

Worrying will only compound the problem of insomnia. It is important for the expectant mother to take steps to reduce stress. Take time for yourself. You may have to slow down your pace. Set aside time for reading, thinking, and planning for your new role as a mother. Being informed and preparing for the arrival will reduce stress factors surrounding the pregnancy.

These suggestions for relief do not take the place of medical treatment. The health of the mother and infant are very important and no chances with the delicate condition of the mother should be taken or symptoms ignored. Do not risk that there may be a more serious health related condition. A woman should consult with her doctor if the insomnia persists.

Size, Shape of a Woman's Hips May Affect Daughter's Risk of Breast Cancer

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services news release, 6,370 women were studied by an international group of researchers to find that those who had wide hips had a greater chance of their daughter's having breast cancer.

A study done on 6,370 Finnish women found that breast cancer rates were three times higher to those women whose mothers had wider hips than most, and seven time higher to women whose mothers hips were wider and had more than one child already. The study showed that the breast cancer risk was 2.5 times higher for the daughters of the women whose widest distance was more than three centimeters greater than the distance at the front.

It also was discovered by American, British and Finnish researchers, that women were more likely to develop breast cancer if the mother's widest distance between the wing like structures at the top of the hip bone was more than 11.8 inches. It was also discovered that if the structures were rounded off, the risk of getting breast cancer was greater.

Noted in the study, wide, round hips indicate high sex hormone concentration in mothers, which may boost the breast cancer risk in their offspring. The researchers suggested that the breast cancer risk was increased in the first trimester of pregnancy when the embryo is developing breast tissue and exposed to the mother's circulating sex hormones.

The researchers all concluded and noted that "Mothers whose daughters developed breast cancer were of similar height to the other mothers," they also continued with "This suggests that they had similar nutrition through childhood. Our findings do not therefore indicate that good nutrition through childhood is linked to breast cancer in the next generation. But they do show that the pubertal growth spurt of girls, which reflects nutrition, is strongly associated with the risk of breast cancer in their daughters."

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention 2003 statistics show that 181,646 women and 1,826 men were diagnosed with breast cancer. In addition, 41,619 women and 379 men died from the disease. Breast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women aside from non-melanoma skin cancer. Breast cancer itself is the number one cause of death in Hispanic women and the second most common cause of death in white, black, Asian/Pacific Islander, and American Indian/Alaska Native women.

SOURCE : Woman's Hips Might Indicate Daughter's Breast Cancer Risk
http://www.womenshealth.gov/news/english/608955.htm

SOURCE : Centers for Disease Control and Prevention - Breast Cancer Statistics
http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/breast/statistics/

Eat Right For Healthy Skin

Eat healthy to live healthy.You must have heard this time and again.And I am sure that you are aware that eating healthy is good for your skin.You can always consult a skin specialist to know more details,but here's a lowdown of a few food items that will be good for your skin.
Settle for two cups of green tea druing the day.It is wonderful antioxidant and keeps your heart and skin in great shape.Also two bowls of curd will help you to glow with health.Include salads and fresh fruits in your diet.Toss up your salads using extra virgin olive oil and your skin will benefit doubly.Wholegrains help you to digest your food and are rich in iron,vitamin B and fibres.Do not forget to include spinach in your diet.The same holds true for nuts and seeds.Almond,walnuts even sunflower seeds are a must in your diet plan.If you are a non-vegetarian,go for fish which has high oil content.One of the benefit is that the fatty acids helps to keep your skin moisturised.

Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a

hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Every time anything happens say, "Now that's what I'm talkin' about."

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries

with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten

over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors"

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

Don't use any punctuation

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds

all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their

party because you're not in the mood.

When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling

"run for your lives, they're loose!!"

Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going

to have to let one of you go."

Effective Remedies for Body Odor

No one wants to be remembered for their body odor, but face it -- everyone's had stinky armpits at some time or other! Try a few of these effective remedies the next time you have issues with body odor:

1. Take a Bath -- I know that this is kind of obvious, but one of the most effective remedies for body odor is a good clean shower to wash away sweat and bacteria. You may even find it necessary to bathe twice daily, or at least sponge off the sweaty areas. Also, remember to change your clothes, too. It's useless being freshly bathed if you're just going to cover all that nice clean skin with dirty, dried up sweat and bacteria. Remember to change your towels and sheets often as well.

2. Try Baking Soda -- Rub some baking soda right onto your skin after drying off; it is probably one of the cheapest effective remedies for body odor. You can even add baby powder or cornstarch to it.

3. Take Probiotics -- Hit the health food store for some acidophilus with bifidus. If your odor is due to a bacterial imbalance in your digestive system, this will be one of the most effective remedies for body odor for you.

4. Work on It From the Inside Out -- Clean up your diet. The odors coming out are a good indication of the junk going in. Increase your consumption of pure water (lots!), vegetables, and whole grains; and decrease the other stuff. You will probably find this to be one of the most effective remedies for body odor. Also, if you lose weight, you will probably find that you have fewer problems with body odor anyway, since heavy people have more folds of skin and fat to trap moisture and bacteria.

5. Try a Natural Deodorant Stone -- Get a stone such as Crystal from your local health food store. Rather than masking odor with perfumes (like most commercial deodorants), these stones deposit mineral salts onto the skin, creating an environment impossible for bacteria to thrive. Another benefit is that it contains no aluminum or other harmful elements of commercial deodorant and antiperspirant. You might have to consistently use the product for a week or so before noticing a major difference, but trust me; this is one of the most effective remedies for body odor that I have found.

Invigorate Yourself with Thai Massage

There are times when you just do not feel like doing anything anymore. Your body is so tired from work and from all the stress of everyday life. It has already been a physiological, as well as a psychological struggle. Pharmacological means do not work and you do not know what to do. You may want to use a different approach and try Thai Massage.

Thai Massage

Jivaka Kumar Bhaccha, the physician of Buddha, is believed to have been the person who developed Thai Massage more than 2,500 years ago. As Buddhism was spread from India to other countries, the medical practices came along with it as part of the religious system. When Buddhism arrived in Thailand, together with the temples, medical schools were also built.

In the schools, massage and other healing techniques were taught by word of mouth since most people can't read. It was handed down from teacher to student. Monks and nuns in those times also learned about these medicinal techniques and applied it to those who need it. But it was not only India's massage and healing techniques that influenced these monks but medicinal techniques from China also reached Thailand.

The compassionate monks who want to use every possible means to help other people integrated Chinese medicine and that is how Thai Massage came about. It is the fusion of Buddhist medicine and Traditional Chinese Medicine. Ever since then, the monks have been using Nuad Phaen Boran or Ancient Thai Massage as part of their medicinal treatment.

Today, Thai Massage is used by people for its health benefits. It can relax and reduce stress. It improves blood circulation and increases energy. With constant Thai Massage Therapy you can develop flexibility and increase range of motion. Best of all, it centers the mind and body.

Experience Thai Massage

Compared to other classic forms of massage, the Thai Massage is more thorough and more invigorating. The Thai Massage Therapist uses hands, knees, feet and legs to move your body and stretch it in different positions. As part of the therapy, joint mobilization, acupressure, and muscle compression are used.

When going to a Thai Massage Therapist, bring in some loose and comfortable clothes. Unlike other massages, you will be fully dressed with Thai Massage. Also if this is your first time to attend, be sure to arrive 10 to 20 minutes before your scheduled appointment. The extra time can be used to give more information about yourself like past and present medical history to your therapist.

There are certain conditions that prohibit a person from experiencing Thai Massage. Examples of these are people who are prone to blood clots or have a heart disease, people undergoing chemotherapy, and individuals who have just undergone surgery. Those who are pregnant can do Thai Massage Therapy but must have consulted with the doctor first.

Before going for a session, it is not recommended to eat a heavy meal or drink beverages with alcohol content. During the therapy session, let your therapist know what you feel. If a certain movement makes you feel very uncomfortable to a point where it becomes painful, let your therapist know right away.

When you need that boost of much needed energy, always remember that you have Thai massage to count on.

Women's Empowerment Tools

If you've ever felt undervalued in the workplace as a woman, you shouldn't. Women are becoming more and more prominent in work environments and even have special skills that can help them succeed even in a male-dominated career. Recognizing the natural self empowering tools for women, that women already possess, can be very powerful.

Women have natural talents, but may feel as though those talents are not relevant to a place of business. This is incorrect. It is true that women, just like men, still need to master practical and technical business skills in order to succeed, but when it comes to climbing the corporate ladder, they have unique skills that organizations value. By simply tapping into these skills, women can empower themselves to obtain anything and everything they want.

Let’s start with communication – a skill that is vital to success. Women are natural communicators. Have you ever noticed how a mother “just knows” how important it is to talk and interact with her children, using appropriate language and phrase-structure that a child can understand. This same skill, slightly adjusted, works perfectly in a business environment. For instance, a woman who is managing other people must know how to communicate with each person individually in a manner that each person can understand.

Helen Fisher, author, The First Sex: The Natural Talents of Women and How They Are Changing the World, refers to this as a flair for language. Fisher describes the increasing need for the ability to communicate with written and spoken words. To quote her, "At talking, women have the edge." Fisher describes how the female gender, even at very young ages "excel at... verbal fluency - rapidly finding appropriate words, phrases or sentences." Fisher writes "Women are, on average, more articulate at saying what they say." Women embracing this knowledge and trusting their natural language talent in communication will find their confidence building.

In terms of teaching or coaching, women also have an advantage. The nurturing characteristics that come more easily to women make it possible for women to help children learn and develop. The right combination of encouragement, discipline, freedom and boundaries will lead to a child whose confidence and abilities are very mature and continue to exceed that of other children. When this type of situation is applied to the business world, a woman can do the same thing for employees.

Once again Helen Fisher's research as presented in The First Sex states, "Women are, on average, more interested in cooperation, harmony, and connections - a network of support." She further writes, "Women characteristically believe everyone can succeed in business; they take a win-win attitude in the office world."

Many women are also skilled at multi-tasking or multi-focusing. Juggling people, reports, deadlines and all the necessary resources become critical to the success of the teams' results.

Helen Fisher references that human's evolution, even back to ancestral times, show a woman had to rear helpless and long-dependent babies under highly dangerous conditions demonstrating the need for multitasking even then. I lover her description: "In order to rear helpless infants, ancestral mothers needed to do a lot of things at the same time. Watch for snakes. Listen for thunder. Taste for poison. Rock the sleepy. Distract the cranky. Instruct the curious. Soothe the fearful. Inspire the tardy. Feed the hungry. Mothers had to do countless daily chores while they stoked the fire, cooked the food and talked to friends."

Of course, not all women have mothering skills and not all women are the same, but all women have the ability to identify the skills they possess and use them for personal and professional empowerment. Women can be just as effective at business leadership as men. If figuring out what makes you a successful woman interests you, why not make a list of all your personal attributes - those natural talents and empower yourself to soar to new heights of success.

Looking Fabulous – With Accessories!

Many women seem to have a "thing" for shoes, designer handbags, fancy scarves and high-end fashion jewelry. However, many women do not realize the powerful weaponry they have in their arsenal with these fashion accessories. Most women either buy pieces to go with a single outfit or to be a slave to a seasonal fashion trend. They rarely consider how the fashion accessory complements their appearance, whether it will go with other items in their wardrobe collection, how many uses they'll gain from the item and how many different ways they can wear the item.

My goal is to help you understand the important role your fashion accessories play in creating your "look" and how you can easily set yourself apart to emphasize your uniqueness. Yes, you heard me right – accessories are meant to play up on your individuality and uniqueness, which is, if we admit it or not, our true yearning as a woman. We want to be different and unique. Accessories can help you achieve this by bringing attention to your face, hiding those flaws you want to hide, or just making a statement about your individuality without your having to say a word.

Let's look at fashion accessories that you can easily play up on and create playful variances with:

A neckerchief scarf can be worn as a:

* Headband

* Neck scarf with a collared shirt, V-neck, round neck T-shirt

* Bracelet by wrapping around multiple times and creating a cuff-type bracelet

* Tied around a plain handbag strap to add a splash of color and flair

A long rectangular or wider square scarf can be worn as a:

* Belt

* Neck scarf loosely draped as a shawl, a wrap or with various types of knots

* Top in summer

* Skirt on the beach

A brooch can be worn as:

* On the front of your pair of favorite jeans or chinos

* At the bottom of a long or short strand of pearls as a pendant, or clipped off-center on a double-stranded set

* An addition to a scarf where it overlaps

* A decoration to an evening bag

* A cluster at the lapel or shoulder of a denim jacket

* At the bottom of a V-neck

A necklace can be worn as:

* Part of a number of layered necklaces with varied lengths

* A belt if a longer necklace.

* A bracelet with multiple wrappings around the wrist

* A basis of creating a new look with a brooch

Fashion accessories are such a powerful arsenal in creating your own unique style. Start looking at each accessory you have as to how to can create different variations. Also, when purchasing new accessories, concern yourself with how many different ways you'll be able to wear the accessory and whether the item or items will complement other wardrobe items you already own. Don't become a slave to the seasonal must-have's. Please also keep these five things in mind, when playing with your new look:

1 It's okay to mix silver and gold.

2. Focus on one key accessory, such as a necklace or handbag, and keep the other accessories light.

3. Stay within a certain color family when accessorizing.

4. Your handbag color and shoe color can be different colors.

5. Most importantly – keep it simple, chic and feminine.

Adorn your uniqueness – look fabulous with fashion accessories!

Beauty Diary - Get the Connection?

Our skin is affected not only by the foods which we eat, but also by the things which it absorbs. This means that whatever you put onto your skin could potentially have a direct effect on its health and appearance. When looking at the cosmetic and skin care products which you use, it may surprise you to know that most of them could be potentially causing your skin problems instead of helping them.

Identifying the Cause of the Problem If you are struggling to find the cause of your skin problem then try writing down everything that you use on your body and hair during your daily routine. Note when you started using each product. Is it an old favorite you have used for the last 15 years, or is it a brand new product you just picked up? Have there been any other changes to your beauty routine? If there have been then it is more than likely that the change in products has led to the problems with your skin. Writing a beauty diary will help you narrow down the potential offenders.

A figure which may surprise you is that most women tend to use around 12 personal care products a day. This could be anything from soap to shower gel, deodorant, make-up and even moisturizers, cleanser and toner. Each one of these products has on average 15-30 potentially harmful ingredients.

By being your own personal beauty investigator, you can eliminate the product from your beauty routine that could be causing the trouble. If you are having a reaction, allergic or otherwise, it most likely is connected to a new product introduced into your routine. On occasion though, old favorites can start to cause irritation after prolonged use, so don't rule them out. Once you have a date that your skin issue began, first take a hard look at the products you have used after that date.

At this point you should:

1. Look at the remaining products in question and determine if they come in contact with the area of your body with which you have issues. For example, if you have acne on your forehead, remember that not only pertains to your cosmetics but also your hair and shampoo which come in contact with this area and must be considered.

2. Read the ingredient labels of the identified new products. If you notice a trend in the ingredients of all your products you could be allergic to one or many of these repeating ingredients.

3. Remove one or all of the isolated products from your routine. If you must use a similar product make sure that it is made of different ingredients. If you are not using a natural product already try an all-natural alternative. Read the ingredient labels to confirm that it is truly natural. These natural alternatives generally contain less ingredients and are free of many irritating chemicals found in traditional products. If you are already using a natural product that you would like to eliminate make sure you replace it with an entirely different formula.

4. Keep the suspect products out of your beauty routine for at least 3-4 months.

5. Do your homework. A quick google search for 'safe cosmetics' or 'cosmetic database' will give you detailed information about the general safety of thousands of products you may be using. Make sure your products fall within the 'green' range for safety in the online safe cosmetics databases.

6. During this time note any changes to your issue and overall health.

7. By writing down the cosmetics you use and the ingredients in them you will then be able to log on to safe cosmetic databases and determine the safety rating for that particular product.

Cutting Out the Risk of Harming Your Skin There are over 10,500 ingredients used in cosmetics and skin care products. Of those only 11% have ever been tested for safety. The FDA does not require testing of cosmetic and beauty care products. With this huge knowledge gap about the ingredients in our beauty products it is often better to stick to what is known and tested to be safe. If you are interested in eliminating potential unknowns from your routine try natural alternatives to your drug-store or department store brands. There are lots of options available both online and in your local health food store.

Start that beauty diary and learn more about your own beauty habits! You may see a connection between your skin problems and the product you use.

7 Free Beauty Tips: Face And Body

7 free beauty tips and guidelines that can make your face and body care so much easier:

1. To clean facial skin without doing damage, do not scrub. Rather, use a gentle, oil and fragrance free cleanser, preferably one that is pH balanced. For oily skin use a cleanser that contains benzoil peroxide or salicylic acid. Unless your skin is oily, avoid toner as this can dry out the skin.

2. Invest in a magnifying mirror to closely scrutinize your facial skin. It will then be easy to identify enlarged pores on the central parts of the cheeks as well as blackheads in the area of the nose.

3. Emergency treatment for puffy eyes: If you need to eliminate puffy eyes in a hurry, chill two teaspoons in the fridge, then place the hollow sides over closed eyes for a few minutes.

Alternatively, take two chamomile tea bags that have cooled after being steeped in boiling water, and place them over the eyes for a few minutes.

4. Neck Area: While much time and attention is lavished on the face, the neck area needs as much care and consideration. Include the neck area in your skincare routine.

5. To get the day off to a healthy start, make a drink from boiling water and the juice of one lemon. Add some finely chopped ginger for further interest. Apart from being a good source of Vitamin C, this will cleanse the liver and get your metabolism going.

6. Home Made Salt Rub: Feel renewed by making your own salt rub with a mixture of coarse salt and gentle liquid soap. Using a loofah mitt, apply the mixture all over the body in the shower and rinse the suds thoroughly. Pat the body dry and then apply a body cream or oil to leave your body soft and smooth. (Do not use products containing alpha hydroxy acids to avoid irritating the skin)

7. Make foot care a part of your shower routine. Keep a pumice stone in the shower and smooth away any calluses which may start forming, dry skin on the heels or balls of the feet, or rough skin on the edge of the toes. Gentle, regular care will keep unsightly foot problems at bay.

Natural Beauty Secrets

Feel Good Naked

How confident are you when it comes to being naked? Sadly, a lot of women agonise about their bodies and revealing all can be a traumatic experience. If you are looking for tips, tricks and beauty secrets to help you make the most of your natural beauty and feel good naked, you've come to the right place.

Number one of all the beauty secrets is this, if you want to feel good naked you must be happy in your own skin.

To help you achieve this, look after your skin to bring out its natural beauty. Exfoliate regularly to remove dead skin cells and give your circulation a boost, this will encourage new skin cells at the same time. Encouraging new skin cells will give your skin a younger, fresher look.

Always moisturise using a good moisturiser and pay special attention to dry areas such as elbows, knees and feet. Take your time and massage the moisturiser right into your skin. Massaging not only helps your circulation it also helps to smooth out bumps and wrinkles and will enhance your natural beauty. Olive oil, an old-fashioned beauty secret, will give your skin a luxurious look as well as making it soft and supple to touch. As the surface of your skin improves and you get to know your body better you will begin to feel good naked.

Remove unsightly hairs from your legs, under your arms and tidy up your bikini line, or go the whole hog and go for a Brazilian wax.

You probably already know that eating a balanced diet to maintain healthy skin from the inside will benefit your natural beauty. Oily fish and vegetables will do wonders for your nails, hair and teeth as well as providing fish oils and vitamins for your skin and is a beauty secret worth knowing.

Your hair is your crowning glory especially if you want to feel good naked, have it trimmed regularly and keep it clean, well conditioned and healthy.

A quick fix beauty secret to feel good naked is to decide which your best asset is and show it off to the best advantage. Stand naked in front of a tall mirror and take a good, long look at yourself.

Standing straight on is not always the best pose, experiment by turning slowly and watching how your contours change. Standing side on can be a lot more flattering and compliment your natural beauty. Stand up straight and lift your sternum (breastbone) arch your back slightly so that your bottom sticks out a little bit but not too much.

You can make yourself look slimmer by stretching your body into a bow shape and being careful not to stoop or scrunch yourself up. Or stand slightly side on to the mirror placing one leg in front of the other; this will give you a very sexy shapely outline indeed.

Or try lying on your stomach propped up by your elbows, this accentuates the curve of your back and the shape of your breasts and at the same time minimises your stomach.

The idea behind the above beauty secrets is to create an illusion, flatter your natural beauty and help you to feel good naked.

A good tip is to spend as much time as you can actually being naked, this will get you used to seeing yourself naked and the more you see yourself naked, the more being naked will feel natural to you.

Remember to stand up straight and stretch your body to make yourself look slimmer. It also helps if you master the art of walking by placing one foot in front of the other, as though you are walking a tight rope, and swing your legs from the hips. I've found this looks extremely elegant and it will do wonders for your confidence.

Another good beauty secret is to go for soft lighting, such as candles, tea lights or softly coloured light bulbs if you haven't got a dimmer switch, and make sure the lighting is behind you. This not only has a slimming effect - it will also help to soften your outline and give you a sexy glow.

A soft glow rather than harsh lighting will give your skin an even tone and minimise the appearance of any blemishes.

One of the best beauty secrets I know is taking regular exercise to help keep your body toned and supple, a thirty-minute walk three times a week will pay many benefits. Walk at a speed that gets your heart rate up, this will oxygenate your blood and improve your skin, as well as your muscles and heart. Don't walk so fast that you can't have a conversation at the same time.

A toned and balanced body is extremely beautiful and will make you look and feel good naked, and you don’t need an hourglass figure to achieve this. Add quality to your movements with muscles that are long and toned and you will appear more balanced and beautiful.

Finally, the best way to feel good naked is to have confidence in yourself. If you don't feel it, fake it until you do. Get to know your own body and accept yourself for who you are and how you look.

We are all individuals and there are no set rules for everyone. Watch other women and notice how they move, what looks good and what doesn't. You can learn a lot by watching others.

Someone who is happy in her own skin and behaves in a confident manner is extremely attractive and sexy, regardless of her body shape.

How you feel about yourself is what really counts because this will show in your eyes and natural beauty will radiate from you.

Relax and enjoy yourself - love the way you look - if you do then others will too.

Attract Men Like a Magnet

Turn on your TV. You will quickly determine that you don't have what it takes to attract (and keep!) a man. You're too thick in the waist. You need a boob job. Your legs are covered in revolting cottage cheese that must be eradicated by all means possible. You're not girly enough. You're too girly. You don't talk enough. You talk too much. Those pathetic lines around your eyes date you like a day-old roast beef.

Turn off your TV.

The truth of the matter is that men, the desirable ones, don't care all that much about what you look like. They don't care if you're shy, or if you occasionally ramble on about nothing. Instead, they tend to gravitate toward women who possess a valuable, seemingly elusive, quality:

Happiness.

Oh, yes. Happy women attract men, small children, dogs, and guinea pigs like magnets. What man in his right mind wouldn't want to be around a happy woman?

Think I'm being silly? I'm not, and I'll prove it to you.

Like a lot of people, my weight used to fluctuate (although not so much anymore, thanks to regular dates with a NordicTrack). At one point I was 30 pounds heavier than I am today, and some friends had invited me out for dinner and drinks.

I certainly didn't relish the idea of being the fat chick at the bar, but I agreed to go. While trying on 3,000 outfits in an attempt to find something that made me look thin, I had an epiphany: I wasn't going to lose 30 pounds in two hours. My best bet was to forget about feeling fat and put a smile on my face. I set a goal to focus on whomever spoke to me, to look him or her in the eye, and to forget about myself.

Before I left the house, I brought to mind all the things I had going for me. Once I was out, I smiled sincerely at people and made a point of putting them at ease.

The result? One very attractive guy (whom I previously considered completely out of my league) asked me out that night, starting a fun and memorable summer romance.

After we'd broken up a few months later, I woke up with the symptoms of some sort of food allergy. I'd lost 25 pounds, but that didn't change the fact that my eyelids bulged like footballs. My jawline had virtually disappeared. Some evil food product (my bet is on bacon bits; they're not real bacon, you know!) had transformed me into a monster.

I had plans to attend a party that evening, so I immediately turned to the teabag-on-the-eyelid therapy touted by the beauty mags. It failed. I tried cucumber slices next. They also failed. I tried ice packs, frozen spoons, frozen peas. They failed. I tried drinking loads of lemon water and following it up with a pot of detoxifying herbal tea. No luck with that, either.

Clearly, looking my best was not in the cards. After spending the afternoon in the bathroom ridding myself of lemon water and tea, I set out for the party looking like Jabba the Hut from the neck up.

But, once again, I'd made a decision. Sure, I'd be the most physically repellent creature in the room, but why get bummed out about it? Wearing a little brown eye shadow to play down the lid bulge and a confident smile, I hit the party.

All night I banished the nagging temptation to head to the bathroom to poke at my swollen face. Instead, I listened to other peoples' stories. I laughed at their jokes (if they were funny, that is). I achieved my goal of having a great time.

Guess who scored a date with a good-looking, very funny guy?

If you want to attract guys, forget about what's wrong about you. Forget about what's wrong about your job, your boss, and your mother. Cultivate happiness. You'll find yourself attracting better friends, better men, and better circumstances.

Next time you're on your way out of the house and feeling like no man in the world would ever be interested in you, think about things that make you laugh. Bring to mind times in your life when you were truly happy.

Then put a smile on your face and walk out that door!

Make Your Wedding Memorable

It’s a blur of white lace, pink taffeta, and a bunch of hot men in tuxedos. Something to keep in mind while planning a wedding is that all weddings are pretty much the same, unless one is memorably different of course. Sounds simple enough, but how does one create a wedding that significantly differs from the standard blushing bride, white dress, classy bridesmaids, perfect setting, to be followed by a bunch of food, heavy drinking, and a gift of about $100 per person? What’s the trick to turning the tradition of marriage into something that varies enough from tradition to make it new, different, exciting, and memorable?

Details are important, but they’re not always the answer. If you bedazzle everything with pink Swarovski crystals, no one will care that you spent thousands on your decorations when they try to remember your wedding three months later. If you tie a gold bow around every chair, waiter, fork, and hors d'oeuvres at the reception, people might chuckle and appreciate the theme but few will truly remember the elegance that you tried so hard to create when they think of drunk Uncle Bob with a gold bow around his head. Rent designer chandeliers and they’ll stare in awe for 10 seconds before they dance, get drunk, and forget the elegance that’s hanging above. Bottom line is that it’s become commonplace to impress your wedding guests with a pricey, entertaining, and elaborate reception. In order to make a memory, you need to send them home with a little bit of a reminder of how sophisticated and marvelous your wedding really was.

So here you are, the blushing bride, in dire need of some wedding favour ideas. You’ve booked the photographer, you’ve purchased and altered the perfect dress, and everything is in place with the budget. Your main concern right now might be going overboard and wasting too much money on something small that people might just throw away. The trick is knowing your guests and hoping that they know you too; chose something personal and meaningful to you and your guests and the chances of those tiny $2 treasures getting tossed in the trash will hopefully be slim to none.

When giving away favours at your wedding, you’re automatically going to lean towards the item that is cute, pretty, and goes with the theme of everything you’ve already paid for. It’s a fun and unique idea to lean towards the “functional” aspect of the item rather than the visual. Does it do something? Do you need batteries for it? Is someone going to put it in their purse, take it home, and have a place for it on their shelf? Maybe it’s a paperweight and can be used in an office. Maybe it’s a decorative soap in a functional color that would match almost any bathroom.

If it’s a disposable camera or a picture frame, then the guest is almost guaranteed to keep it with them. The disposable camera idea benefits the guests and the married couple because each guest will be certain to have a camera’s worth of pictures to look back on in an album for years to come, and negatives can be mailed to the bride and groom in order to reproduce candid shots taken at their own party.

The most important tip on getting it right with the wedding favours is choosing a favour that truly shows your appreciation of having each person as your guest. Give them the outstanding wedding that they were expecting, and send them home with a special little token of your gratitude and they will surely remember your soiree for years to come.

Keep Him Interested

When it comes to relationships, most men have a tendency to lose interest awfully quick. Some may start to drift and invest most of their time in other activities (anything that doesn’t include you) and sometimes a man will stick around. You’ll get to be with him, just minus the spontaneous hugs and kisses. A lot of men view commitment to one woman as dreadful: seeing the same, old girl doing the same, dull, unexciting things. Why not hit him with some new and innovative gestures?

1. Fine, fine like a bottle of wine.

Is it your beloved’s birthday? If he enjoys a nice drink every now and then, present him with a bottle of what he likes (Hennessey, Remy Martin, Bacardi, Merlot.) A beverage he and his friends can get toasted off of when they celebrate.

2. The Love Letter.

Express your appreciation for him in a sweet poem or letter. Mention all the little, wonderful things about him that attracts you. Let him know the appealing things about him that he may not have noticed himself. Don’t forget to spray it with an intoxicating fragrance.

3. Music makes you lose control.

Burn a CD with all his favorite slow jams on it. Or put him up on certain songs or even a different genre of music that he wouldn’t have otherwise listened to. He’ll think of you every time he hears it.

4. Hey, Baby, what’s your sign?

Hit the bookstore or go online and print out a full and thorough description of his and your zodiac signs. Converse about the traits he has in common with his sign. See if the stars declare that you two are compatible.

5. Make it a Blockbuster night.

Have an all-night-long-movie fest! Sit through all the boring, gory, “action-packed” movies he loves to watch. Rent a documentary on his favorite actor or sports player.

6. Extreme make-over.

Help him to chill out and relax. Give him a facial. Pluck his brows. Give him a manicure. All your girly beauty secrets—give him the whole treatment. Make him feel like a king!

7. Microsoft PowerPoint.

Make your man a cute little slide show. Design each slide with sweet, endearing words; short little poems; and pictures. You can even add music to it, have it play your favorite song while he views it.

8. It’s in the game.

Grab some beers and pick up the other Play Station 2 controller. Let him teach you to play one of his video games that you previously had no interest in.

9. Back to school.

Colleges offer a lot of Continuing Education courses. Sign the two of you up for a single-session lecture at your nearest institution. Creative Writing, Public Speaking, Acting, CPR, etc. There’s an array of interesting classes to choose from and it won’t kill your funds.

10. Cook for him!

Swing by the Supermarket and get the ingredients to his favorite meal. Not sure how to make what he likes most? Stick to a dish everybody loves to eat: Lasagna. Spaghetti. Baked Ziti. He’ll love it, regardless!

These 10 tips may be simple, but the trick is to develop an element of surprise. Don’t mention anything, just bust out with it! The mystery behind the gesture is what intrigues him. Experiment with these ideas and come up with some of your own. The key is to have fun and use your imagination to keep him digging on you. True, a relationship requires a lot of maintenance; however, you’ve got to keep it fresh and sexy. Be unpredictable and exciting!

As Darius Lovehall states in the movie Love Jones, when couples say that the romance is gone, that’s not the case… “it’s because they’ve exhausted the possibilities.”

Why Men Need Women More Than Women Need Men

In ancient times, women understood that Man needs Woman far more than Woman needs Man. They used this understanding to keep their emotional desires in perspective. They used this understanding to demand—and receive—the respect and appreciation they—and you—deserve.

First, the basic physical facts: no life form can maintain its physical body without a continual supply of Life Force Energy. And it takes a massive and uninterrupted flow of this Energy to congeal and sustain the myriad atoms required to materialize a new baby's body. This life-sustaining Energy is always flowing direct from Spirit through women's bodies because women's bodies create and nourish new life. Men, lacking women's reproductive powers, possess no Life Force Energy of their own. Yet they, like all other physical life forms, cannot live without it.

Men can obtain this crucial Energy in only two ways: by turning Within to reconnect directly with Spirit—as all are able, but few make the effort to do—or, by getting it from women during sex.

In ancient times, women understood their power over men. However much a woman might enjoy sex, she will never need it as men do because Spirit's life-sustaining flow is always coursing through her body. Women then understood the magnitude of the gift—the vital Life Force Energy that maintains a body's health—that they give to men with their sexual favors. Women then recognized their power and used it to command due respect and appreciation.

And Woman was respected. Her lovers knew that they must earn her blessings. Her intellect was valued and her advice, sought after. Her talents and capabilities were admired, and her contributions to the community, appreciated. She knew her purpose for coming to life and was encouraged to accomplish her mission. She lived her life in her mother's clan and inherited her mother's wealth. She needed no man's support because she profited from her own businesses and retained control of those profits in her name. No laws were decreed to make her economically dependent upon men for her food and shelter. She wasn't forced to stay hidden in her home, nor did she need a man's protection to leave it, for rape was unknown. She didn't worry about her looks. She didn't fear being abandoned and left penniless if a man felt a whim for something younger.

Those anxieties wouldn't arise until later times when invading patriarchs prohibited women from possessing the wealth and means to be independent of them. In ancient times, Woman was proud of her Femininity and her power. She enjoyed being a Woman.

Woman only needs Man to support her if his laws have made it difficult to support herself. She only needs his protection if he and his brethren tell themselves that a woman "wants it" if she ventures out on a street alone. She only needs him to love her if she has been taught she's not worthy of giving love to herself. She only needs him to "take care of her" if the laws of her society have decreed her to be the "property" of man, and thus not entitled to her own earnings and rightful inheritance with which she could easily take care of herself.

But why do machismo enthusiasts, even today, want women to be so financially subservient, so economically dependent? It is, after all, a burden to be someone's sole support. Why have patriarchal societies in every era placed the highest priority on limiting a woman's ability to control her own money? Why? Because if she has money, she has the means to leave. And no man wants to lose his "possessions," much less his cook, maid and ready supply of sex. Men (at least those who don't bother to connect with Spirit daily)need sex. And they long ago discovered that the most reliable way of assuring themselves of a steady supply was to take women from their clans and make them dependent upon men for food and survival. How then, could she leave?

Women in matriarchal societies needed joy and fulfillment in their lives, just as women now do. But women then were taught that they would find it within themselves—in the activities, pursuits and pleasures that they enjoyed. Their modern sisters, raised in patriarchal cultures, have been taught to look to a man for fulfillment instead of to themselves. They're taught to not notice what they desire and long for, to disregard what is important to them. Self-sacrifice in the service of others is applauded.

But women in early matriarchal societies didn't look for a man to fulfill them. They created their own joy and fulfillment by filling their lives full of the things and activities they loved. They knew there'd be men aplenty who'd see their Joy and come running to share it.

Understanding Our Beauty

Sometimes I think the world wants us to hate our own beauty. Women are told they are “shallow” if they care a lot about how they look. And we are always telling our children that beauty comes from who they are on the inside. I think we are partly right in our mode of thinking. But we are also doing ourselves a big disservice by stripping ourselves of one of our core pieces of identity…our beauty.

You see, God created us for beauty - to make it, see it, and be it. That’s why we love to nurture the beauty in our gardens, create beautiful scrapbooks, cards and gifts, or to maintain a beautiful home. It’s who we are. Once we understand and learn that, we can free ourselves to be who we were intended to be. We can delight in painting our nails or putting on shimmer lotion without feeling like we shouldn’t be enjoying these special delights. On the other hand, we need to keep perspective on our need and desire for beauty in our life.

True beauty never attracts attention to itself. It never misuses it’s purpose to nurture, create joy, or lend encouragement and happiness…to instead harm others, satisfy its own desires, or elevate itself above everything else.

There is a great book out by John and Stasi Eldredge called “Captivating” that will help you define how beauty plays a vital role in your life and in the make-up of who you were created to be.

Just remember that it’s okay to want to look beautiful or feel beautiful. It’s okay to tell your daughter that she is beautiful (not just on the inside) as long as you keep that beauty in balance with the character that will flow from it.

We do have a great responsibility to handle our God-given beauty as women in a moral, classy, and respectful manner. But in our quest to do this, let’s not take it away altogether.

Enjoy beauty and let it restore your soul as a lady. Don’t strive for a false “perfect” standard. For if you simply are who you are…. Then your true beauty will shine. Let it!